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About Digital Art / Hobbyist Premium Member ZeeFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 6 Years
3 Month Premium Membership:
Given by JediMasterEeth
Statistics 187 Deviations 41,240 Comments 182,085 Pageviews
I'm in a bad bad rut :/
I can't write or draw. i tried but damn if anything is actually coming out for me.
I managed a portion of lines on a contest prize today
was going to celebrate this achievement by doing something for myself but..
I can't
depression fucking sucks man. I have maybe an hour of 'open time' before my son wakes up and idk
drawing sounds tedious and though writing sounds like fun, I've like.. no new ideas. and the ideas I've already jotted down in notes I just??
was trying to look up some of those simple random writing prompts on tumblr to maybe kickstart some ideas but searching for them failed to hold my attention
I'm also feeling really down about my writing skill honestly
I'm following all these epic writers on tumblr and I read their stuff and like..
it becomes really obvious to me why I don't get much feedback/interest on tumblr
I have a ton of competition that are like -leagues- ahead of me in skill
and like, I'm pathetic I know it, but I -crave- to ahve one of those blogs
where people get super interested/invested in my characters and I get asks and what ifs and praise every day
and I know that sounds whiny like 'woe is me' but idk
i think most of it is my own fault. I've been crippled from uploading too much art and have -completely- shied away from the idea of posting any of my writing on tumblr. hell, I -barely- upload any to deviantart here
so like I know I have no one to blame but myself
but it's fear of rejection and ridicule that keep me stuck here in the shadows with it all while I watch everyone else actually enjoy writing and other people enjoying their writing and getting invested and I jsut
sit here
and stare at my computer screen for an hour doing absolutely nothing productive
because I have reached a very 'what's the point?' frame of mind
i self-indulge and then I hoard and hide my stuff because of anxiety
it's sickening
I'm disgusted with myself and I'm so jealous and it jsut has me constantly in the bottom of my pit ehre..

sorry.. I needed to rant that out
  • Listening to: Delison Playlist
  • Drinking: Monster


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The-Cerzz Featured By Owner 4 hours ago  Hobbyist General Artist
*whisper* if buying the flat falls through, we're going to arrange a trip to America instead :la: 
The-Cerzz Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist General Artist
(1 Reply)
The-Cerzz Featured By Owner Edited 2 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
OMG!! I couldn't find Teeny but I found him in Origins! I didn't realise he'd been in Origins! 

I giggled so much at 'argh, my foot's asleep again!' :) lol a moan from night watch in the gallows perhaps?!
(1 Reply)
The-Cerzz Featured By Owner Edited 5 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist

Got lots of Reaper/Shadow feels hearing this song

(Edited because for some reason it linked a Google ad) 
(1 Reply)
The-Cerzz Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Watched that dialogue with Samson on your Tumblr. The poor swine. That 'I was an even bigger fool for saying yes..' Was heartbreaking. I just can't see him as a bad man. 
(1 Reply)
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